So what happens when parents find themselves at home 24/7 with their kids in the middle of an international pandemic?

Before we get to the point of losing our tempers, there are some steps we can take.

Be gentle with yourself. Recognize that you are doing the very best you can, and so are the people in your home. Remind yourself that this too shall pass, and that all the things you are doing really truly are making the passing come sooner.

Make a personal safety plan for yourself and every member of your household. This is actually a proven tool used in the Sanctuary model that helps reduce violence, trauma, and anger.

Think of three things you can do, by yourself, within a minute or two, that will help make you feel better or calmer. Write them down.

These can be simple things, from listening to your favorite song, prayer or reading a favorite stroll, to turning on the shower and yelling at the top of your lungs, washing your face with cool water, having a cup of tea, or going outside for a minute of fresh air.

Put post-its up and when kids are getting rammy, refer them to their safety plan! This also gives you a chance to talk about the temporary, but strange, time we are living in, and give them reassurance.

Here are some proven techniques to relieve stress:

• Get dressed in the morning. Wear something you like.
• Take several 4-7-8 breaths: inhale for a count of 4, hold for 7, and exhale for 8.
• Get some good smells into your home.
• 15 minutes of movement of your choice.
• Try five slow wall push-ups to release that stress from your shoulders.
• Punctuate your day with surprise activities.
• For kids, play the Quiet Game. Set your timer for 60 seconds and nobody talks until the timer rings.
• Set an alarm and announce, “Outside for 5!” Make everyone hurry outside. You can turn 5 into 10 if things are going well, but no communal playground time.
• Set an alarm and announce it’s time to drop everything and clean! This should be for no more than 5 minutes, and everyone runs around and picks up as fast as they can.
• If you are struggling getting your kids off screens, you can also do a drop everything and read for 10-20 minutes.

Let It Go. It’s OK if things are a little loose right now. You are a good parent, you have good children, and you are a pioneer. You are successfully navigating a new, but temporary, world. Give yourself credit – you deserve it.

Tiiu Lutter is the director of Development at Child Guidance and a Family Therapist who specializes in intra-family relationships, couples and adolescent concerns.