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Weekend Wanderer: When In-Person Learning Gets Prehistoric
Tyrannosaurus rex teenagers were calamitous. Their presence altered any ecosystem unfortunate enough to host them. It’s possible they had a role in whatever freaky biology made dinosaurs so big. They were so different from their parents some argue they should be classified as a different species. A different species. For further research into adolescent T.…
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Weekend Wanderer: Don’t Be So Quick to Clean That Damned Spot
There is pen ink on the living room lampshade. Oil paint is ground into the family room carpet. A weird goo is crusted into the hallway floor. And a throw pillow is missing. A year into the pandemic forcing us home, my house is battered. Even our outdoor space has seen better days. The garage…
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Weekend Wanderer: Feeling the Squeeze in the ‘Scam-wich’ Generation
The long and short of this story is the scammer got my parents to purchase $2,000 worth of Best Buy gift cards. And they gave him access to their bank accounts. And let him move in with them. My mom baked him her famous cheesecake tarts, and my dad turned over the remote control. OK.…
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Weekend Wanderer: Bear-ing False Witness
I was married under a falsehood. Let’s just get that out of the way right now. My intended had employed treachery and trickery to get me here. I’m too far gone to be saved. But, like Jacob Marley, I am here for your sake. What has my betrayal got to do with you? You’re not…
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Weekend Wanderer: Home Is Where the School Is
I have shared a few controversial positions, writing for this publication. I don’t like the shore. I don’t find Disney World magical. The outdoors are just the worst. You probably don’t like me. You don’t find me magical. You maybe even think I’m the worst. Well let me throw another log onto that fire. I’m…
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Things That Go Bump on TikTok
In a time when we’re so fractious, the internet appeared to unite on one opinion: The video was creepy. The series of TikTok posts is a 60-second horror movie. An icy wind in her bathroom led New York City resident Samantha Hartsoe to discover an entire room behind her mirror. Let that sink in. She…
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The Seniors in School
I suppose the announcement last month from the CDC, the one nudging schools to get kids back full-time, should have given me that same gush of relief my first slug of caffeine gives me each morning. It did not. The Philadelphia Inquirer recently discussed the indifference kids, particularly teenagers, have towards going back to school.…
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To Chore or Not to Chore?
I’m not sure where, exactly, my son’s sheets went. I know I handed them to him. I know I told him to make his bed. And I know he has spent every night since sleeping on his bare mattress. I would look in his room. I would. But my kids’ sloppiness is legendary. An accidentally…
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Don’t Shovel That Snow Just Yet!
I heaved the box into my parents’ house. My mom stared at me in alarm. “You’re out of breath!” she exclaimed in horror. You’d be out of breath too if you had carried an overpacked moving box up two flights of stairs. But my mom doesn’t carry moving boxes up flights of stairs. She has…
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Let the Good Times … Stand Still
They’re turning their houses into Mardi Gras floats in New Orleans. The pandemic has forced the cancellation of the traditional, annual parade of bright floats, so iconic to the city. But New Orleanians, in their perpetual embrace of laissez les bons temps rouler, engineered a COVID-safe Mardi Gras. I’m not as resilient as New Orleanians…
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Twenty-Four Hours In Pandemic Parenting
In the end, it was the smartwatch that sealed my fate. It started 2:30 Tuesday morning when I let my dog into the yard. He does this some nights, always between 2:30 and 3:30 in the morning. I think, in these moments, of The Amityville Horror, of Margot Kidder waking up screaming – every night,…
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Put Down That Screen. Well, Maybe.
Let me be clear. I hate hiking. But we all know time spent outdoors is good for us. And the Parenting Rule Book mandates we embrace outdoor time. Encourage it. Enforce it. I have made a pact with my husband to get the kids outside more in the new year. Two problems interfere with my…
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Ode to In-Person Shopping
By Wendi Rank I don’t want to brag, but I’m somewhat of an ace at internet shopping. Don’t shy away from giving me the credit I deserve here. There’s more to it than clicking items into your basket. You need multiple windows open, for price comparison. Then you need to check Rakuten for rebates. Next…
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