The taxes still are not filed. 

To recap, last year I discovered Willie hadn’t filed a tax return since 2018. 

Worse, it’s not like Willie carefully filed her tax documents for easy retrieval. 

I mean, don’t be ridiculous, Cousin Larry. 

The tax documents were scattered throughout Willie’s apartment like clues in an escape room. 

But many were missing. 

If you’ve read all four of my columns about the taxes, you know I have spent hours trying to recoup those tax documents.  

To very little avail. 

By September of last year, I was still missing Indy’s military pay 1099-Rs. I had to complete and mail a form to obtain them. 

Yes, this could only be accomplished by mail. 

And yes. That mail had Indy’s Social Security number on it. 

Which, you know, is great. 

Now, the form I was instructed to complete is called “Claim for Unpaid Compensation of Deceased Members of the Uniform Services.” 

Which isn’t what I need.  

I’m not looking for unpaid compensation. I need 1099-Rs.

But it’s not the weirdest thing the military has had me do since I started handling Indy’s military matters in 2019. 

So I used the form. 

I was also missing one year of Indy and Willie’s Social Security W2s. 

As instructed by Social Security’s website, I wrote a letter detailing what I needed. Once again, I shipped Social Security numbers through the mail.  

Ask me how little I’ve slept since that day. 

I sent all of this — the military form and the letter to Social Security — in September of 2023. 

In March — March! — I found a stray envelope amongst the papers cluttering Willie’s apartment.  

It was from the Department of Veterans Affairs. 

When I opened the letter, I was jubilant.  

It was one of Indy’s 1099-Rs. 

Now, I needed three years’ worth of Indy’s 1099-Rs. But I had one. One! I felt like Bill Paxton when he found Rose’s picture in Titanic. 

As in, it wasn’t exactly the Heart of the Ocean, but it was an important step toward it. 

I called the VA. I asked if I needed to complete this “Claim for Unpaid Compensation of Deceased Members of the Uniform Services” for each year I need a 1099-R. 

Why, yes. Yes, I did need to complete a “Claim for Unpaid Compensation of Deceased Members of the Uniform Services” for each year I need a 1099-R. 

Also, I asked, now that my brother is Willie’s guardian, how do I get the VA’s mail sent to him instead of Willie? 

Well. 

First, I have to create a VA.gov account for Willie. 

Next, I need to upload Willie’s identification. But VA.gov will list the address on Willie’s identification as her mailing address. 

So I need to get Willie new identification with my brother’s address. 

To do that, I need two pieces of mail addressed to Willie at my brother’s place.  

My head is spinning more than the tornadoes in Twister. 

Ooh. Another Bill Paxton movie. 

It — it doesn’t stop there. 

In May, I found a letter from Social Security. 

This letter was actually my letter requesting Indy and Willie’s W2s. 

Along with a stern letter from Social Security saying if I wanted those W2s, I needed to submit proof Indy was, in fact, at Marion’s bar in Nepal. 

And that Willie is his executor. 

Which she no longer is because she was declared incompetent. 

Also, aren’t you Social Security? Don’t you know Indy is in Marion’s bar in Nepal?  

And, hi. I’d like to point out, Social Security, that it was Willie who requested the documents and you didn’t send Willie her own W2. 

And it took you eight months to reply. 

And you sent Willie and Indy’s Social Security numbers through the mail in an envelope clearly from the Social Security Administration. 

I called Social Security. My brother is now Willie’s guardian, I said. What documents should he bring to the Philadelphia Social Security office to get those W2s himself? 

The guardianship documents, of course. Also the short certificate issued when Indy’s will was probated. Indy’s death certificate. And his will. And my brother needs his own identification.  

Basically, we have to prove Indy made Willie his executor. Then prove Indy went to Marion’s bar in Nepal. Then prove the government recognizes Willie as his executor. Then prove Willie was declared incompetent. Then prove my brother is her guardian. 

Then prove my brother is my brother. 

And just like that day at Willie’s apartment, I was done.  

Done.  

Done with a government demanding I file taxes with documents it refuses to give me. Done with incomplete information. Done with trying to make things better, only to make them worse. 

I emailed the accountant. Can we file without these documents? Is there a fine I can pay? I’m 14 months into this and no closer to the Heart of the Ocean. Old Rose is just prattling on. 

The accountant hasn’t replied. 

Maybe she’s more of a Bill Pullman person. 

Or maybe, like the government, I’ll hear from her in six months. 

Talk to you then.